I keep getting told off.
I have a habit of calling my son by
an assortment of names which allude to his rather mischievous tendencies. These
include, but are not limited to: monster, rascal, menace, terror and trouble.
My husband tells me that, by using these particular terms of endearment, I am
at risk of setting my youngest up with a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now, whilst
I harbour my doubts that the outcome is solely dependent on my affectionate
name-calling, I can appreciate that there is a risk that when put under
pressure (and when his vocabulary extends beyond his sister's name, favourite
CBeebies pooch and enquiries after my physical and emotional wellbeing) he may
choose the easy, less noble option "knowing" that people already
believe him to be wayward. So it has me thinking about that age old conundrum
of nature versus nurture.
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| Looking for Trouble |
My eldest child appears to have been born wielding her moral
compass with its bearing set fast towards good and true; never to be led off
the right path. A warning or reprimand is so rarely required that when it is
uttered it's so foreign to her ears that an immediate deluge will erupt from
her little crestfallen face. We used to just watch her; bathing in the warm
glow of other people's compliments about her exemplary behaviour,
congratulating ourselves on our parenting prowess. Check us! We are nailing
this "raising an angelic child" thing. We should write a book! It can
be littered with all of our handy hints and tips on how to win at this game we
call parenting. This is as easy as incurring a hangover after the age of 30, I
don't know what everyone has been complaining about, I mean they basically
raise themselves. Any doubts or queries you may have regarding our credentials,
we urge you to refer to exhibit A: the saintly sister.
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| Exhibit A: The Saintly Sister |
We got cocky. Please refer to exhibit B: the scamp.
It's not that he is a bad child. Far from from it. He, like
his sister exudes empathy and can often be found stroking someone's back if
they have hurt themselves, mirroring his sister's tormented face when she is
upset and silencing everyone when he happens upon a sleeping baby. It's just
that he likes to "test his boundaries", exercise his
"curiosity" and "find his own path". He lacks any awareness
when it comes to danger and, given half the chance, would probably be found
licking peanut butter out of the plug socket, having spooned it in there
himself with a sharp metal implement. He routinely tries to touch passing cars,
scale vertiginous heights and ride his scuttle bug off the top step all whilst
brandishing a menacing grin. His "spirited nature" rejoices in the
word "no" merely acting to flame the fire of his curiosity. Without
faltering he will continue to perform whichever act you had requested that he
desist, merely doing you the honour of sparing you a fleeting glance and a sly
smile. Raise your voice and it will merely expedite the process. Move towards
him and he shall relinquish his grasp on the offending item, jut out his bottom
lip and emit an ear piercing shriek that threatens all glass objects within a
five mile radius.
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| Rascal Child |
These two children were raised under the same roof, by the
same parents with the same methods of disciplining (in case you are wondering;
ask them nicely to stop, state firmly that they need to stop, raise the voice
slightly and apply a warning tone, step towards the child while issuing a
meaningful glare and if they still continue then extricate the relevant
mutinous offspring from the offending article/location/sibling/small animal.) I
don't believe we have pandered to one or been particularly unyielding with the
other and yet we seem to have ended up with two wildly different species.
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| He's the Yin to Her Yang |
Therefore I must conclude that whilst nurturing definitely
has its part to play, the underlying nature will never be tamed.
But who would
want to tame it anyway?
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| Atlantic Ocean? Sure, let's dive in! |
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